High Density Statement

Focusing on deconstructing Earth Science Regents questions, Benjamin’s strategies have helped students and I develop criteria/ frameworks for understanding content and comprehension, thus improving classroom rubrics and assignments. I seek increased regular feedback on my progress in this course. With little commentary, I feel undirected toward positively influencing my grade.

Planet Project Rubric

My Rubric for the Project previously posted.. 

Unit 1- Astronomy: Planet Relocation Project Rubric (Writing)

	Mastery (4pt)	Accomplished (3pt)	Developing (2 pt)	Beginning (1 pt)
General (1, 16%)	Final paper contains all necessary paragraphs and includes additional writing, such as acknowledging a counterclaim.	Final paper contains a clear introduction, three of more supporting paragraphs, and a clear conclusion for a total of six or more paragraphs.	Final paper contains an introduction, one supporting (reason) paragraph, problems with the planet and a conclusion.	Final paper is missing more than one required paragraph.
Body (1,16%)	Includes three developed ideas and each is organized into a paragraph	Includes three ideas and each is organized into a paragraph.	Includes two ideas and each is organized into a paragraph.	No attempt was made to catch the reader’s attention in the first paragraph.
Facts & Details (1, 16%)	Facts included enhance the argument	Detailed facts related to writer’s argument.	General facts, some related to writer’s argument.	Basic facts, generally unrelated to writer’s argument.
Sentence Structure (1,16%)	Sentences convey style as well as information. Complex sentences, varying greatly in starters and composition.	Complex sentences, varying greater in starters and composition.	Basic Sentences with some different phrases to start sentences.	Basic sentences with repetitive starters. Some sentences are incomplete 9lacking a subject and/or verb)
Capitalization, Punctuation, and Spelling (1, 16%)	Author makes no errors in capitalization, spelling, or punctuation, so the essay is exceptionally easy to read.	Author makes 1-2 errors in capitalization, spelling, or punctuation, but the essay is still easy to read.	Author makes a few errors in capitalization, spelling, and/or punctuation that catch the reader’s attention and interrupt the flow.	Author makes several errors in capitalization, spelling, and/or punctuation that catch the reader’s attention and interrupt the flow.
Creativity (1, 16%)	Scholar solves planet’s problems convincingly, turning drawbacks into selling points and reinforcing their argument.	Planet’s problems are clearly explained. Scholar comes up with solutions for each problem.	Scholar writes at least two problems with the planet and attempts to provide solutions.	Scholar writes at least one problem with the planet. Solution may be unrelated of missing.
Max Total 80 pts.	______________ x 4	_________________ x 4	_______________ x 4	________________ x 4

Advice from Vonnegut.. a reflection

                Though I teach Science, a non-fiction subject, I decided to watch a video sourced from a writer whose focus is fiction. In hopes of adding creativity into more realms of my classroom, I listened to what one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut, had to say about writing a good story.

                Vonnegut says that “every sentence must do one of two things- reveal character or advance the action”. This idea that every sentence counts, that every sentence should have a central point separate from the one before and after it, definitely carries over into Earth Science. Many students have difficulty structuring a paragraph, let alone an entire essay, so driving home the point that each sentence should be able to stand on its own with meaningful content may help my students. I would perhaps frame this idea as “don’t waste the motion of your pen in hand to paper, make every sentence count”.

                Another advisement was to “start as close to the end as possible”. Students want a reason for everything they do; otherwise they will not complete an in-class assignment or homework to their best ability, they will believe it to be busy work. By giving students the “why” immediately after the “what” for an assignment, it seems they are more willing to give the “how” a chance. Students sighed somewhat distraughtly when I told them their first exam would be only Regents based questions, however they quickly appreciated the concept after I explained it was to make them more comfortable with the terminology and the types of questions the Regents asks not because I wanted to make a difficult first test. By explaining the “end”, the Regents students’ will take in June, the more they settled in to the means to get to that ends, and in this case, the rules and regulations of the starting semester.

                Lastly, Vonnegut advises writers to give readers “as much information as possible, as soon as possible”, and to eliminate suspense. Readers, like my students, should fully understand what is going on, where, how, and why, at all times. I keep a large monthly calendar in my room with all homework, project, test, and quiz dates available so students are never surprised. If they will be absent, or were absent, they can immediately check out what they have missed and ask for help or review as soon as possible.

In fifty words or less.. or more

            “In Fifty Words or Less” (Chapter 5) has helped refine my own thought process while writing, though my students may not be able to master as complex a skill until key vocabulary in readings can be identified, opinions can be defended with textual evidence or prior knowledge, and grammatically correct connector words are established.

            In using the skills presented in this chapter, a next step for the strategy skill I demonstrated in our last class may be to have students write questions for given answers, allowing students to write key terms and connector words on their own first, and then later, try to identify similarities in their question creations as compared to the actual question designed for the answer choices.  

Many of my students have trouble writing out full sentences; so at this stage, introducing short statement writing may actually cause them to put less of their ideas onto paper, or to miss key ideas.  I fear students will remove information density from their writing in order to shorten the overall text. However, I think noting punctuation (colon, semicolon, comma) use in text and Regents questions will help students’ overall reading comprehension. I plan to implement a reading activity next week for my students to identify how punctuation works in an argumentative essay, as this type of writing was included in their most recent project assignment.   

Making the Case

After assigning the project I posted last week, I am both pleased and frustrated with the student work I have received. Many students are on task, making a thesis statement and providing cited evidence to support their stance. However, there are many problems, not with content, but with essay structure, proper English writing, and overall coherence.

In hindsight, it definitely would have been helpful to provide a word bank with specific terminology for the project, but which words? Some of my students are having trouble with the understanding and use of science specific content words, others with prepositions, sentence starters, basic spelling, punctuation, and grammatical terminology or “time and place words”. Not being an English teacher, I’m not entirely sure how to teach these concepts, nor do I have the time to sacrifice content teaching time to go over the basics of how to write full five to seven paragraph essays.

While grading these papers, I am told to grade for content, not for grammar. I feel like I am not preparing the students for the next grade, or for college, by accepting a paper that in the least, is not grammatically correct and free of spelling errors. Why are students not able to spell by the 11^th or 12^th grade when they are native New Yorkers? Why have teachers not corrected their writing in elementary school? In middle school? During freshman or sophomore year? We can’t play catch up in junior and senior year. Its not fair to the teachers, the school, and especially, to the students.

Framing & Evaluating the Task

            I found this chapter to be very helpful in evaluating the framework of my first big writing assignment/ individual project for students in my Earth Science class. Many students are unfamiliar with how an essay should logically be structured, what individual paragraphs should contain, and how to write a conclusion. I found most students were initially concerned with length rather than content, or the ability to do good research, or how to cite information. From the day I gave the assignment to the due date of the first draft, tomorrow, I have had to teach students how to: develop helpful search terms, differentiate between fact and opinion, how to cite information, how to find main ideas in text and pull out supporting details, and how to create valid persuasive arguments. Because my project task requires both opinion and factual support evidence, I have tried my best to outline the essay structure down to the paragraph and sentences within the paragraph so students do not copy directly from a source, nor give me a rant of opinion.

I am in full support of Benjamin’s steps to frame and evaluate given tasks in order to receive on task student work that both teacher and student can recognize. Where length is concerned in asking students to downsize, combine sentences, and to use proper content terms, students should be given a list of examples prior to starting the assignment. As we discussed in other chapters/ readings, it is important to give students alternatives to the corrections you make. I have asked students to create a first draft of their work so that I can see common class errors, and afterwards address writing problems, and give new examples, techniques, or alternatives from problem areas.

  

______________________________

I’ve attached a copy of my Planet Project Relocation Task, in hopes that other people can evaluate it according to Benjamin’s framework. I tried to use as many of the processes as possible. Please let me know!

Relocating Planets Project

The year is 2212. Earth is overpopulated. More than 30 billion people inhabit the planet. Food is scarce and wars for water supplies erupt on a regular basis. Global governments are calling for planetary evacuation and human relocation. We must choose a new planet to inhabit, establishing a space colony and creating a new life for ourselves.

As an Earth Science student, you know the Solar System and its planets. You also know that life is only known to exist on Earth. Your task is to decide which planet in the Solar System you would move to and to then explain your decision. You must plan how you will change the planet to make it inhabitable, or ways humans can adapt their lifestyles to remain alive on their new planet.

Part A: Your Task (80 Points)

Which planet will be your new home? How will you make this planet a place humans can live? What changes will humans have to make in order to live on their new planet? Write a proposal evaluating a planet in our solar system and argue for why you think it will make the best place for a space colony.  Support your position with evidence from the texts provided.  All sources must be cited in MLA format within your writing.

	Role:	Audience:	Format	Topic
Option #1	You are a KAPPA Scholar and Earth Science student.	Friends and family	Persuasive letter	You must convince your friends and family that you have chosen the best planet for them and that it will be a great new place to live.
Option #2	You are a real estate agent.	Potential buyers	Persuasive letter	You must argue that your chosen planet makes an excellent future home for humans. Persuade potential buyers to buy property and move to your planet.
Option #3	You are the Earth	Humans	Persuasive letter	You must argue that humans should move to a new planet. You do not want to remain overpopulated, so you need to convince humans to move somewhere else.

Your persuasive letter must be double spaced, 12 point Arial or Times New Roman font, and at least 3 pages long. The outline of your letter must match this:

·      Paragraph 1-Introduction. Introduce yourself and why you are writing.  Why do you need to move planets? State your chosen planet and the reasons you will be discussing for moving there.

·      Paragraph 2: Describe characteristics of your planet (What size is it? Does it have an atmosphere? Are there any interesting facts you learned? etc. ).

·      Paragraph 3: State reasons why humans CANNOT live on your planet currently. Why do humans not already live there? What do you need to change to move and live there?  

·      Paragraph 4: Reason #1 Why your planet is the best new home for humans. Support with evidence.

·      Paragraph 5: Reason #2 Why your planet is the best new home for humans. Support with evidence.

·      Paragraph 6: Reason #3 Why your planet is the best new home for humans. Support with evidence.

(If you have more reasons…great! Keep going.  The more reasons you can come up with, the stronger your argument will be.  In addition, you could think of another planet people might choose to move to and then explain why it would NOT be a good place to live [+10 points for a well-written counterpoint])

·      Last Paragraph: Conclusion. Restate your opinion, and review the reasons you chose for your argument.

 

Part A Points Breakdown

30 Points Persuasiveness	Your letter clearly argues for one planet, and your argument is supported with scientific evidence. Your letter follows the outline.
30 Point: Science content is accurate.	You include accurate, scientific information.
10 Points In Text Citations	All information is referenced with in text citations in the proper format. A Works Cited page is included.
10 Points: First Draft	The first draft is submitted on time.

Part B: (20 Points)

Choose one of the following options to accompany your persuasive letter.

(Artistic/ Creative) Option #1: Create a colorful cartoon or comic strip that clearly shows your opinion about the planet that you explained in your letter.

(Artistic/Creative) Option #2: Create a colorful magazine advertisement or travel brochure with a creative slogan that that clearly shows your opinion about the planet that you explained in your letter.

(Technology) Option #3: Imagine: other humans can now visit you new space colony. You must prepare a 6-8 slide Power Point travel presentation for one of the other 7 planets in our solar system (besides Earth), convincing travelers to visit.  Information should include the planet’s geography, climate, atmosphere, distance form the Sun, size, cost it would take to get there, pictures, and any other interesting facts.

Part B Points Breakdown

10 Points Creativity	You clearly put in effort and thought into your presentation.  It is creative and imaginative.
10 Points Presentation	It is colorful, neatly completed, and visually appealing.

Category	Project Checklist
Paragraph 1: Introduction	¨ Introduce yourself and why you are writing ¨ Why do you need to find a new planet to call home? ¨ Clearly state the planet where you will move. ¨ List the reasons for your opinion that you will be discussing in your letter.
Paragraph 2	¨ Describe in detail at least 5 characteristics of your planet ¨ Include in text citations ¨ Citations are in the correct format
Paragraph 3	¨ State reasons why humans CANNOT live on this planet right now. ¨ Describe how you will change the planet to make it livable for humans. ¨ Include in text citations ¨ Citations are in the correct format
Paragraph 4	¨ Describe your Reason #1 Why your planet is the best new home for humans. ¨ Support with evidence from the text. ¨ Includes in text citations ¨ Citations are in the correct format
Paragraph 5	¨ Describe your Reason #2 Why your planet is the best new home for humans. ¨ Support with evidence from the text. ¨ Include in text citations ¨ Citations are in the correct format
Paragraph 6	¨ Describe your Reason #3  Why your planet is the best new home for humans. Support with evidence from the text. ¨ Includes in text citations ¨ Citations are in the correct format
Conclusion	¨ Restate your opinion. ¨ Summarize the reasons and evidence you chose for your argument. ¨ End with a great closing sentence.
Overall Presentation	¨ Project is must be double spaced, 12 point Arial or Times New Roman font, and at least 3 pages long. ¨ Correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation are used ¨ Heading is on every paper submitted ¨ Project is neatly stapled